Monday, March 15, 2010

UNDER A HUNDY!



We have lost 2.7 kilos . ( weighed on the Docs scales. ) We are now under 100kgs.

Only trouble is our knee is a bit stuffed. However the Doc says it needs exercise. Phew.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

BIG OIL IS NOT OUR FRIEND!


Damn. Tonight we attended one of the many functions on offer this week to mark the sad departure of Big Oil .
- Healthy eating went out the bloody window.. Quartz Reef bubbles on offer and sublime finger food from Nikau... And a very interesting and entertaining guest list.

The mussel blinis and iddy bidy lamb koftas were really outstanding..


Its a tough job being a B grade blogger attending these A list Wellington parties.

We huffed and puffed up Plimmer steps for penance.. Bloody near killed us.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

HEALTHY BEER CLAIMS A CROCK.


Dam this is not such good news in the Australian. We had been thinking of switching to low carb beer as a treat here and there. However it looks like Low carb beers are a crock.

The problem, Dr Miller said, was that while the beers had lower carbohydrate levels they delivered almost the same energy load to the body as full strength beer.

Low-carb beers contain around 1.5 grams of carbohydrate per 100ml - about half that found in full strength beer.

But when it comes to overall kilojoules of energy delivered to the body, low carb is not far short of full strength beer.

Low-carb beers pack about 130 kilojoules of energy per 100ml while full strength beer can range from 150 - 170 kilojoules.

"There is little, if any, difference in either the amount of alcohol or the total energy content of traditional and low carb beers," Dr Miller said.

Beers with a lower alcohol content, mid or low strength beers, deliver about 100 to 120 kilojoules in energy to the body - below the level of a low carb beer.

Dr Miller said European authorities had recently moved to stop health-related claims from being used in the marketing of alcoholic drinks, and the Australian government should do the same.


Bummer - back to soda water

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

VANITY - ALL IS VANITY


We have a common menopausal problem. Hair on face. Not normally noticeable because we keep an eye on it and a pair of good tweezers handy. Only problem is - as well get older our eyesight gets worse then suddenly we wake up and, fuck we are staring at the bearded lady. So in an emergency we resort to face napalm. It's a cream which goes by many names, Nair, Veet, but at the end of the day it a chemical that fritzes mutant hairs like a blow torch on corn stubble.
Its vicious.

Last night we were ready for a top billing in the freak circus so we applied a layer of the foul smelling and oddly named beauty cream.

We left it on for about 8 mins.. Then we wiped it off - or we thought we did. This morning we woke up to a face that looked like it had seen a thousand suns. We were weeping but not from our eyes but from some newly created holes in our chin. I fact our eyes were all puffy as well and have got worse as the day goes on.
We looked like Viktor Yushchenko and we did wonder if someone had poisoned us. Was it those with interests in Scampi? Ngai Tahu perhaps? Or Winston? Or maybe Paul Watson?

Who knows ... but its bad. We may hide for a couple of days.. Not that we are worried what we look like or anything - nah - it purely to let it heal... Really.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

SUCCESS!


We lost half a kilo...!!!!

And we did it during a week when we had a guts ache, ate a Bambinos Mince pie from Carterton, turned water in to wine at the "Feathers" and got the munchies and made toast at midnite one day.

However - we are walking way more, we worked like a dog in 30 deg in the garden for an hour, mowed lawns with a hand mower on Saturday and on Sunday we turned the river into a aqua jogging lane. We thought the aqua jogging was especially inspired and in the heat it was a great way to get fit and stay cool at the same time. We have also changed our route to work so we walk up the hill to the Terrace.

We ache a little but we feel better.

Today was very odd though - we had a yogurt (lite)for brekkie, sushi for lunch from Blowfish on the Terrace and nibbled on cherry tomatoes throughout the day. If you felt a small tremor in Lambton Quay later this afternoon - it wasn't an earthquake.... By 5pm we were vibrating with hunger.

We had a couple of pieces of burgen toast and then a portion of steamed hapuka when we got home There is an obvious need to build in some complex carbs in our diet in the middle of the day. Sushi Rice doesn't cut it.

However, week one is over.. and we are just a little bit lighter and just a little bit fitter..

We have our feet on the bottom rung of the ladder and we aint scared of heights.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

SHAME


Damn - we fell off the wagon today. We know only sorrow.

It started at lunch. We sat down and a good fairy that looked suspiciously like Cactus sat on on left shoulder yelling..

" Don't, don't don't! Silly fucking cow - don't!"

But it was Dockside. The sun shone down heating up our desire. We started with Soda. We were winning..

The Cactus Fairy, relieved, smiled at our strength of will .

Then some Big Bastard in a Kia Kaha teeshirt rolled out the bloody Champers.

We succumbed to one small glass . True - no lies. It was Arcadia and it assaulted our palate with flat despairing notes of ordinariness.

The Cactus Fairy mocked mercilessly at our lack of willpower and laughed at our misfortune.

Then we channelled the image of the last wanker she bonked more than once despite knowing deep down he was a complete tosser - and she fell strangely silent.

We looked at the menu and there was only one option for us. Mussels in a tomato concasse.

We glanced furtively at our left shoulder and the Cactus Fairy looked dubious.

Out came the little bivalves - plump pudenda on our plate , dressed in a flounce of green shells Veiled in saucy red.

They were soo good.

Soon though, the call of duty rang loud.

We left our friends and walked brusquely along the waterfront to rid ourselves of the calorific vile methode champagne shit.

We toiled the rest of the afternoon for John Key...

Then - late in the day, we had an incoming electronic missive, an old friend was in town.

To a bar of old betting men in their shiny arsed suits we went.

We ordered a soda - again, we laughed and talked and laughed some more - time slipped by like a sneaky thief and then we looked down and recoiled in horror and shame - we had in our nail bitten paw a - wine glass.

Shocked, we were - stunned. The Cactus Fairy, the heartless bitch, laughed maniacally. We drank two more.

Then we left and slunk along Customhouse Quay and we were sure we heard the mocking tones of Mark Unsworth from the Balcony at D4, had the Cactus fairy given up our guilty secret?

We stopped at the lights, tears pooled on the footpath at Lambton Quay, Up the lift and thru the James Cook we went , Bob Jones portholes hiding our pain from the rich , beautiful and famous.

Out on the Terrace we spied a place called Mad Liquor. It lifted our spirits, was it a place that sold dirty girls for dykes?

No it was but a simple off licence - full of all the bad things like , booze, cigarettes, junk food and coffee. We scuttled by.

Home we are now... bereft. Drinking water, insipid warm town water, washing our sins away... going to bed without our supper for penance.

So today we failed - we were bad... We promise we wont do it again ... promise.

HUMP DAY

Wednesday is hump day - the hump in the middle of the week. Its over. today was easy.. Not sure why - probably because the gut muscles are a wee bit torn.

Today we dined out. St Johns and had a lovely Caesar salad with just a hint of dressing. there was waay too much chicken on it so we left half of it on the plate.

And we walked back from lunch and felt very virtuous...

When we think about slacking we just think of trudging up the muttonbird island hill - which talks 15 minutes. Its like walking up a steep flight of stairs in lead boots that are sticky with treacle. The track is black peaty mud.

So we have to get fit enough to ensure that that 15 minute hike doesn't kill us.

Monday, February 1, 2010

DAY TWO

Well Cactus is probably right, writing about food is not a good idea when you are battling its seductive charms. But thats the thing .

Weka, skin off would be a good red meat, yip its not white like chook. And trout, like all fish is a dieters friend.

And we think that portion control and exercise is the way to go.
In the last month we have had a big think about the things we do wrong. First is the size of the meals we eat. We can consumme enough to feed a African village for a month in a sitting.

And we are addicted to junk food - chips and since the demon menopause sat on our shoulder - we can do a block of white chocolate - which seems to us to be solidified condensed milk, with ease.

So our house will be a chip and chocolate free zone for a while.

And what may come as a suprise to many - no alcohol. Not for the first three months anyway.
We dont drink alone nor at home unless someone else is there - However we like to drink with restauarant food.

In fact we dont like to just drink - we like to eat and drink. We hate drinking without food. So gone is the drink. We also know enough of the restauranteurs around the place who will cook what we want so we will still lunch here and there.

We did that quite sucessfully the last time we lost 20kgs.

So yesterday on day one we consumed - some soup and some dry toast. that was all our tender little tum could handle.

Today we started with some porridge to put some lining back on our gut and we will sip chooky soup for the rest of the day.


But Cactus is wrong , Food controls us - has done for quite some time - we want to take back that control so running and hiding from it is the wrong way to go. We have to work on developing a healthy relationship with food and learn to enjoy exercise a bit more. We are pretty sure thats the key.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

OUR FIRST INSPIRATION


We will print out a copy of this man and pin it on the fridge .. that should stop us snacking on cheese

AN EXPLOSIVE START

Today we were going to jump out of bed at sparrow fart, bounce along Lambton Quay to work with our yoghurt and vogels for lunch , put in a good days work for John Key and find some city steps this evening to wobble up and down - then we were going to blog on our first successful Fab and ( nearly) Fifty day.

However, at about 4am we were woken by some evil bastard tying our innards in knots. We could hear his sadistic gurgles of delight. The pain continued unabated for 2 hours only to be punctuated by waves of nausea. Top that with a very ugly headache.

We called in sick at 7.30am.

The rest of the day has been an unpleasant nightmare. We swallowed some pretty strong knockout pills which kept us on the edge of the big pain pit.

Since about 8.30am we have been resident of the little room with the porcelain accoutrement's - lots. Its too ugly to write about.

Other than to say that it started to wane about 2pm. Since then we have managed , between groggy dozes to finish the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. Stunning novel. ( spoiler alert)

Serial killer meets geek girl who likes brooding journo.

There are two more in the series. Stieg Larsson the Journo who wrote what is known as the Millennium Trilogy then sadly popped his clogs.

Anyway, we weighed ourselves post voiding - We are a very unhealthy 101.5kgs. (224 pounds)

So our goal is to get to 173 pounds or 78kgs.

Now we are not the only ones to have used the net and blogging to beat the bulge

Let the journey begin..

Saturday, January 30, 2010

FAB AND FIFTY


Well, tomorrow we start on a journey that will finish on our 50th birthday on July 2oth 2010.

We want to lose 50 lbs-0 about 23kgs.

Its not just about the weight though - its about being fit and healthy enough to enjoy the rest of our life in some comfort.


We know that the huffing and puffing we do when we even look at stairs is not a good sign. And we dont feel so good anymore. The blood pressure is creeping up.

We have two big problems - we love food, and we don't like exercising much vices we share will millions around the globe- We especially hate exercising in gyms, the idea of a group groan session in the gym is our kind of hell so we are going to look at different ways to increase our heart rate.

Food is going to be a toughy as well. We love food and we are big consumers of savoury stuff. Salt is our enemy. We know that - and its going to be our biggest challenge to keep the weight down.

And while we dont drink daily, in fact three to four times a week is about it -however we can be persuaded to drink quite a bit in a sitting. So thats going to get sorted as well.

Things in our favour are - we lost 20kgs about 5 years ago and it took us from January to May and we really enjoyed being fitter. It has taken three years for us to get back to where we started so the decline has been gradual.


On top of everything - we are going through menopause, so thats going to add to the fun.

We have in the past fought with the demons of bulimia as well. They are under control but they live in a cave way out back and when they hear the silent screams of stress in our head - they come out. Luckily they have stayed in their cave for the last 5 years but they are forever lurking.

So come with us on the journey if you will. It will be frank, hopefully funny, enlightening, entertaining and more than anything we hope it works. Join us if you want. Offer advice if you can, and support us if you feel like it.

It will the start of a new chapter for us - a better way of living.

So tomorrow we will reveal our starting point. And we will track our progress for all to see.