Tuesday, February 9, 2010

VANITY - ALL IS VANITY


We have a common menopausal problem. Hair on face. Not normally noticeable because we keep an eye on it and a pair of good tweezers handy. Only problem is - as well get older our eyesight gets worse then suddenly we wake up and, fuck we are staring at the bearded lady. So in an emergency we resort to face napalm. It's a cream which goes by many names, Nair, Veet, but at the end of the day it a chemical that fritzes mutant hairs like a blow torch on corn stubble.
Its vicious.

Last night we were ready for a top billing in the freak circus so we applied a layer of the foul smelling and oddly named beauty cream.

We left it on for about 8 mins.. Then we wiped it off - or we thought we did. This morning we woke up to a face that looked like it had seen a thousand suns. We were weeping but not from our eyes but from some newly created holes in our chin. I fact our eyes were all puffy as well and have got worse as the day goes on.
We looked like Viktor Yushchenko and we did wonder if someone had poisoned us. Was it those with interests in Scampi? Ngai Tahu perhaps? Or Winston? Or maybe Paul Watson?

Who knows ... but its bad. We may hide for a couple of days.. Not that we are worried what we look like or anything - nah - it purely to let it heal... Really.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wax, Wax! - much easier, cleaner and more effective

Anonymous said...

what has this got to do with weight loss?

You have spelled "birthday" incorrectly in the title of your blog.

You should get the Aussie Rock to do the plucking.

Good luck !